


Shift

by fireinthedark



Category: Mulan (1998)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-16
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-05-07 02:07:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5439473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireinthedark/pseuds/fireinthedark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A missing scene.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shift

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alestar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alestar/gifts).



> Hope you enjoy it!

"For what it's worth, I think you're a great captain," Mulan said.

Shang walked away. 

Mushu ordered her to her tent and she pretended to obey, but as soon as Mushu was gone, she decided to follow Shang.

Of course, now that she had followed him, he expected her to speak and she didn't know what to say. If she had been a girl right now, she would have known. If he were a girl, she would be able to guess.

But they were not girls, so she didn't know.

Shang sighed.

Mulan was about to leave before it becomes supremely awkward, when he said, "Do you know what it's like when everyone looks at you and sees someone else?"

Mulan's heart almost skipped a beat, and not in the fun way.

"Of course not," Shang said.

"Actually," Mulan heard herself say, as if from far away, "I do."

Shang was silent again. He sat down on a rock and gave a shrug with his shoulders. Mulan sat down next to him.

"People look at me," he said, "and they see my father."

Mulan almost spoke, but thought better of it. She would let Shang finish speaking first.

"They think I'm no better than a pale copy, that nothing I ever got I deserved, because he gave me everything, from my life to my post as captain."

If it had been her saying those things, Mulan would have liked a comforting pat on the shoulder, but she was not Shang and Shang was not her; what if it were a girl thing to offer contact as comfort and men didn't do it between themselves? She decided to risk it anyway.

The skin of his arm was cold under her fingers at first, but then the night pulled back and she could feel the heat coiled in the muscles.

"I never met your father," Mulan said, her hand still on Shang's shoulder. "But if he's anything like you, he wouldn't have given the post of captain if you were incompetent."

Shang shrugged her off. "That's not what Chi Fu thinks."

"Why do you care what Chi Fu thinks?" Mulan asked and tried not to feel disappointed that she was no longer touching Shang.

"He _is_ the Emperor's counsel," Shang said.

Mulan felt like she was missing something.

"The wall was his idea. It's only because of him we know the Huns are here," Shang said.

It was odd to think of Chi Fu as having done anything remotely useful, but Mulan supposed that he had to have done something useful to become the Emperor's counsel.

"It is not your fault that you were born who you are," Mulan said. It was easier to say these words to him than to think them about herself. 

"No," Shang said, but it sounded like a question.

"Did you want to be a captain?" Mulan asked.

"Of course!" Sheng's reply was immediate and definite. It must be nice, Mulan thought, to be this sure of yourself.

"You've worked for it, then?" When he nodded, she added, "At least as hard as you've been working us to fight against the Huns, I'll bet."

Shang sighed again. "This is my first command."

Mulan didn't know what that had to do with anything.

Shang continued, "Nobody expects us to see battle. It's not a real command. My first command, and it's a sham."

"Why is Chi Fu there, then?" Mulan asked. 

"Chi Fu is not a man of action," Shang said.

Mulan nodded. She knew this much; it wasn't hard to see.

"But he is still a man and his pride would not survive if he did not think himself useful to the war effort." Shang's leg twitched like he wanted to kick out. "They're treating me like I'm Chi Fu!"

"You are nothing like Chi Fu," Mulan said. "Do not compare yourself to him."

"Who should I compare myself to, then?" Shang asked.

"No one," Mulan said. "You're not Chi Fu. You're not your father. You're just you. Shang."

"And I suppose you've never compared yourself to your father?"

"No." The word was out of Mulan's mouth before she could even think to stop it.

"How lucky," Shang said, slightly disbelieving.

Mulan could think of how to explain that she'd never compared herself to her father because he was her father and she his daughter. It was not luck. It was that she'd been a girl. That was the opposite of lucky.

She wanted to tell him it wasn't lucky, it was just that never before the thought had crossed her mind.

"My father is a war hero," Mulan started. "I am... not. I was never the ideal son." She hadn't even been the ideal daughter. "That's why you've never heard of me. There was nothing to compare. Not like you and your father." Maybe bringing his father up again wasn't the best idea.

For a while, Shang was silent.

Then he said, "I thought they hid you away because you liked men."

Mulan's mind went blank.

He couldn't know she was a woman, could he? If he did, why hadn't he said anything?

"I thought I'd finally met someone who shared that with me," Shang said.

Mulan's mind righted itself and she did her best not to sound disappointed when she said, "You don't like women?"

"That's not what I said." There was anger carefully hidden behind Shang's neutral tone.

"Oh. You like both?" It was an intriguing concept, Mulan had to say.

"Why am I even telling you this?" It was a question more than it was an accusation, something Mulan was grateful for.

"I'll have forgotten by morning," Mulan said. She wouldn't tell anyone his secrets.

"Will you?"

"Yes. In fact, I don't even know why I'm here right now," Mulan said. She smiled at Shang.

Shang smiled back.

Mulan's stomach did a kind of twisty somersault. Mushu was right, damn him, she did like Shang. More than that, she _liked_ him.

She was in so much trouble. Not in as much trouble as she might be if Mushu learned that she'd spoken to Shang just now, though.


End file.
